Friday, July 22, 2011

The Doctor with the best treatment

Ask any of the (3) people that know me – “What thoughts do you associate with Bob?” and you’ll get many things in reply.
“He is a pretentious annoying prick.”
“Ugly, fat bastard.”
“Long hair.”
“He has a cool hat.”
“He is the Reverend Doktor Bob.”
“He has an obsession with Dr Pepper.”

Now lets have a look at that last point. Dr Pepper. It does seem to many that I have an addiction to Dr Pepper. Hell, I got a costco’s supermarket membership just so I could buy it by the case. I drink it all the time. Approximately 60% of my tweets are regarding Dr Pepper. But why?
I love it. That’s why.

But there is more to it than that. As an atheist, I worship no gods, spirits, magical faeries or virgin mothers. But I sometimes feel the need to express an undying love for something. Something that will never let me down. That something is Dr Pepper. By making each time I drink it an almost religious experience I fulfil my desire to give control of myself to someone/something that will absolve me of all responsibility. I’m sure that’s what most fervent believers in religion desire when they go to church, to feel that they don’t have to take responsibility for their own lives because their god will do it for them. When I drink a Dr Pepper I have an incredibly personal experience that pushes out the rest of the world. I devote myself to it and it devotes itself to me. And it’s a hell of a lot more reliable than any Yahweh, Allah or Vishnu.

One upside of my obsession with Dr Pepper is that it is a healthy obsession. Well maybe not in the sense that it is good for my physical health, but it is good for my mind. Take a look around at what most people want in this world. Money, fancy cars, huge houses, expensive TVs. What I want is a can of Dr Pepper. I have a roof over my head, an old beat up car, a job that I enjoy and yet pays enough for my living expenses…add a Dr Pepper and I’m happy. I’m not worried about a massive debt I owe because I use credit cards and bank loans to finance a brand new BMW and a 75 inch plasma TV. I’m not worried about a huge mortgage so I can have a fancy apartment in a fashionable suburb of Sydney. Im not working 90 hours a week in a job I hate just so I can keep the bills at bay month to month. All I need is a Dr Pepper now and then. I think am a lot happier in my life than a lot of those fancy folk.

yes i drink it at work

Oh, and – DR PEPPER IS YUMMY!!!!

Monday, July 4, 2011

New girl, new chilli and newborns- One of those 'life update' blog posts

Hello congregation!

I write this from the Reverend Doktor Bob's Centre for Clinical/Spiritual Healing as its a rather slow day, with the school holidays being responsible for a slump in surgery. All our surgeons/anaesthetists/sick people have decided to try to regain some contact with their children during this time. However we still need to have nursing staff around, just in case an emergency occurs. We will keep the patient alive while the important people are busy in Thredbo and Perisher.

Anyhow I thought i would write a little 'life update' post, nothing to do with scepticism  or religion.Its just a couple of things have happened in my life and I feel that by writing this down it will help me to reflect/decide on life choices.

No. 1 - New girl.

Through a friend I met a very nice girl who has decided I am worthy of affection-based attention. She is a very smart person who will probably leave me when she realises that my so called intelligence revolves around a series of hit or miss statements that luck has helped keep in the hit pile. Her occupation is in the field of animals and animal supplies (animals are awesome), lives outside of the major city areas (always a plus) and can discuss the finer points of religion and philosophy (huzzah!). I am keen to see where this will go. I hope I don't stuff things up like i have done with....every girl I have ever dated.

No. 2 - Newborns.

I recently got a message from a friend i attended university with. She was asking me how life was going, how my training in peri-operative nursing was going and what my plans were for the future. Now my plans have been basically about gathering experience and knowledge in nursing and then eventually using this consolidated knowledge/experience to help me work overseas in a volunteer capacity, hopefully with
Médecins Sans Frontières

After a few pleasantry style back and forth messages she let me know about a training course her father (top doctor of a major Western Sydney Neonatal Intesive Care Unit [NICU]) is setting up with the help of nurse unit managers and clinical nurse educators. The training course is to fast track nurses into neonate intensive care units.

Neonatal intensive care, for those not in the know, is the care of critically ill new borns. It is a field of nursing which requires steady hands, a quick mind and a great knowledge of drugs and physiology. New borns, when critically ill, can go from a stable condition to very, very ill/dead a lot quicker than adults usually do. A NICU nurse needs to be able to recognise signs of worsening conditions and act on them very fast.

Anyway, this training program is designed to get nurses with no previous neonatal or intensive care experience (or even no real nursing experience - they even want newly graduated nurses) and link them in with clinical educators/specialists for a 1-on-1 mentored training program for several months, so these fresh nurses can be shown how to deal with critically ill neonates. This doctor has specifically asked for me to join the program as he wants a certain number of smart, male nurses (2 out of 3 ain't bad). He wants me to join next February, which is just after the end of my new grad training year in operating theatre nursing. 

While NICU nursing is not a field i ever saw myself working in, the opportunity is too good to pass up. It will be hard work, require a lot of study outside of working hours and I will probably have to confront my emotions as I experience some horrific things (Ive dealt with people dying, but holding a baby as it dies will be a test of my stiff upper lipness), but the experience gained will be something I will use for the rest of my career. As the doctor told me, if I can perform resuscitation on an infant, I can do any sort of nursing.

So I've decided that I shall undertake this course next year when my new grad year of training is up (which will give me a good head start) and be ready to absorb as much knowledge and learn as many new skills as i can.

No. 3 - New Chili

I have recently bought a new jar of extra mega spicy super hot chili sauce, named 'Devil's Delirium', made from the Jolokia Chili - a chili often recognised as the hottest in the world. When I tasted it at the chili stand I bought it from, I instantly went bright red, started sweating, could hear the pounding of my heart in my ears, went dizzy and started crying. I remember paying for the chili sauce, getting into my new lady friends car....and then i remember waking up on her couch. I'm pretty sure i experienced synesthesia at some point.

I've already started using it in my chili stews that I live off during the week. Mixed in with a bit of sour cream it provides a nice kick to my usual relatively hot stew. However I would not recommend this for anyone with heart problems or stomach ulcers.

Anyway, time for me to go. Sorry to bore you all with this Bob based post, but I felt the urge to yak on a bit.

Try to have something a bit more scepticism/religion based for you all next time.

The Reverend Doktor Bob